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Kathy Stoddard Torrey

~ Leadership Coach and Trainer

Kathy Stoddard Torrey

Category Archives: Change

Facing Change

22 Tuesday Dec 2020

Posted by Kathy Stoddard Torrey in Change

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#bridgebuilders, #LeadershipRules #LeadYourselfFirst #KathySays, #leapers, #traditionalists

I tell a story in leadership workshops about how three fictional people face a change in leadership and direction at their organization.

Jane embraces change. When a new opportunity comes along, she is ready to make the most of it. She quickly learns about the new goals and works to create ways to implement them.

Sean doesn’t mind change at work if he believes it’s worthwhile and going to be successful. He watches the change first and then jumps in after he’s had a chance to see how it is going. He’s a skeptic who wants to watch how the scenario plays out before he takes part. Once he does, he will have useful and practical suggestions to make the new way of doing things work.

The last person is Al. He hates change. He goes kicking and screaming all the way when forced into a change. Once, when a change of process happened at work, he said, “Things were better when Elaine was in charge.” A co-worker answered, “Elaine retired 10 years ago.” Al’s mantra is “If it’s working even a bit, don’t change it.”

Then I ask the participants to tell me what those three people are doing 10 years from now. They consistently tell me the same stories. Jane is running the company. Sean is one level up in management, maybe. Al has been fired and is living under a bridge.

I find these responses fascinating. Although many of us resist change, we recognize that the people who embrace change have the best chances at success.

In my systems coaching training, CRR Global defined these three roles as Leaper, Bridge Builder, and Traditionalist. Jane is a Leaper, Sean is a Bridge Builder, and Al is a Traditionalist.

In reality, all three roles have value. If everyone leaped, we’d all be in a constant state of flux. Bridge Builders make sure the change makes sense and help find practical ways to make it happen. Traditionalists ensure that foundational values and people are not forgotten.

Here’s the really interesting bit – we can adopt different roles depending on the situation. We might be a leaper when facing a major change at work, but be a tradition holder when it comes to trying new types of food. We might even be a tradition holder who prefers peanut butter and jelly all the time.

Changes in technology might put us squarely in the Tradition Holder role as we resist learning new software, or we might be the ones waiting in line for the latest gadget. The roles we fill can change with the situation that we are facing.

As leaders, we face a lot of change. In each situation, it’s important to first identify our preferred change role. Is our first impulse to be a Leaper, a Bridge Builder, or a Traditionalist? Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence and great leadership. Then we manage our response and figure out how to help everyone else.

We can harness the energy of the Leapers, logically engage the Bridge Builders, and ensure the Tradition Holders feel listened to and valued. When trying to orchestrate an organizational change, the Tradition Holders can seem like an immense pain in the rear.

However, Tradition Holders can quickly help us find possible problem areas and also help to ensure what is useful and valuable is not lost in the shuffle.

In general, when change happens at work we want to get through it with as much ease as possible. Time spent resisting change is time not spent on achieving organizational goals. By identifying the roles our employees are filling, we can craft a response that helps everyone move ahead with positivity and intention.


For a little bit of fun leadership development, join 53 Leadership Challenges at KathyStoddardTorrey.com.

Want to go further with your professional development? Check out the courses offered at PositiveEffectLeadership.com.

If you are interested in taking your career to the next level quickly, contact me for a sample coaching session at KSTorrey@tapferconsulting.com.

Leading Change

22 Tuesday Oct 2019

Posted by Kathy Stoddard Torrey in Change, Leadership, Uncategorized

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#LeadershipRules #LeadYourselfFirst #KathySays, #LeadingChange

leading change 1K px

Great leaders must have a solid foundation of mindsets, perspectives, and tools in order to effectively lead a change. During a leadership series, I talk about Intentional Change Theory (ICT), Leadership and Self-Deception, the power of choice, communication, the discussion outline, handling conflict in a positive way, using a coaching style of management, and motivation theory before we begin to talk about leading change. We start with the change theory from the book Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard by,  Chip and Dan Heath which uses the model of the Rider, Elephant, and Path. You can read about all of these topics by following the link to the appropriate blog.

Here are some other considerations when leading others through a change:

  1. When facing a change, we want to clearly understand what is going to happen and why so that we can pass that information along to our subordinates. People are uneasy during a change, and knowledge makes them feel more comfortable. We want to create a clear picture of where we are going and why. People really like to know what the rationale is behind a change.
  2. We create buy-in by asking for people’s opinions and perspectives. It’s okay if they express negative feelings; it’s important to acknowledge those feelings and keep everyone focused on what they can do. We want to ask for input about the change as much as we can. However, it’s best not to ask for input if the change is set in stone or if we already have our minds made up; it breaks trust.
  3. Maintaining a positive attitude about the change, whether we like it or not, is crucial. Leaders set the tone for organizational change with their own attitudes. We create unnecessary hardship on people when we impose negative feelings about something that is going to happen anyway. We help the people around us when we stay positive.

If you have some people who aren’t really on board for the change. You can read about how to help them here.

Leading others through a change is the pinnacle of exceptional leadership that requires a solid base of foundational skills and knowledge.


For a little bit of fun leadership development, join 53 Leadership Challenges at KathyStoddardTorrey.com.

Want to go further with your professional development? Check out the courses offered at PositiveEffectLeadership.com.

If you are interested in taking your career to the next level quickly, contact me for a sample coaching session at KSTorrey@tapferconsulting.com.

 

Stages of Grief and Change

10 Tuesday Sep 2019

Posted by Kathy Stoddard Torrey in Change, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Uncategorized

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#LeadershipRules #LeadYourselfFirst #KathySays, #LeadingChange, #StagesofGrief

stages of grief 1K px

In leadership workshops on leading change, I always include a discussion of the stages of grief. When something changes, the old thing or way is gone. When we feel a sense of loss, we grieve.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote about the stages of grief in her 1969 book On Death and Dying. She created the model from research she did on people who were facing death. The stages of grief in the Kübler-Ross model are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance.

It is important to note that there is not a clear progression from one stage to the next and no “normal” time frame for each stage. People are unique, and each one processes grief differently. In addition, the research has been applied by therapists and the public to anyone grieving, not just those facing death, and the research doesn’t support the shift.

However, the Kübler-Ross model does normalize many of the feelings that people experience when facing a loss. For me, that’s where its real value lies. From my own experience and the experiences of my coaching clients, I often see denial, anger, depression, and acceptance as common emotions when facing a loss.

For example, in 2009 I had brain surgery. I had an abnormality that the doctor repaired by inserting a few platinum coils to redirect the blood flow. After the surgery, I lost my ability to do difficult physical tasks that raised my heart rate. I became a wimp! Being a wimp really hurt. I had always considered myself an athlete, and now my athleticism and endurance were gone. It felt like an enormous loss.

In the beginning, I did deny that any change had happened. I worked to try and increase my stamina, but I never got better. Each time I did a hard workout, I ended up on the sofa for several days with nausea and dizziness. It was so frustrating!

Denial can be useful if the loss is so overwhelming that we can’t process all the implications at one time. Our brains give us one piece at a time so that we don’t become completely overwhelmed.

I did go through the stages in order, even though that isn’t always the case. Next, I was angry. I was so angry. Life was unfair, and something precious had been taken from me. I growled at the world for quite a while, but anger takes a lot of emotional energy to maintain.

Depression came next. My depression was marked by a complete sense of hopelessness. What was the point of going on in this condition? I had trouble standing up in front of a group to facilitate for a few hours. I love facilitating, and it had taken me a long time to find my calling, which was now being taken away. I facilitated, but it was a struggle.

Eventually, I did reach a level of acceptance. I sat down and wrote out a list of all the things that I could do in an effort to stop dwelling on the things that I couldn’t do. My health did improve enough to facilitate, but I can’t do it Monday through Friday without taking the next week off.

I do still dip back into depression and anger now and again, but I don’t stay there for long. There are many people with bigger obstacles than the ones that I face. Counting my blessings, the things that I’ve accomplished, the people that I’ve helped, and the family that I love all help me move back to acceptance.

Now, how does all of this relate to change in the workplace? Even a change in one procedure can create a sense of loss for someone. Perhaps the procedure makes the person feel less valuable. Perhaps it removes some control or authority. The new procedure could be inconvenient and irritating. You wouldn’t believe the complaints I’ve heard from more than one organization about changes to the copy machines!

There are ways before, during, and after a change to make it easier on everyone, but I want to focus on the part grief plays in this blog.

As leaders, when someone is resisting change, we want to look for the loss and the feelings around the loss. Remember, there is a fact and a feeling part in every situation. We cannot begin to guess how a change is affecting someone. The best way to move forward is to ask.

People don’t usually resist change just to be ornery, although I have seen people with change fatigue lash out. The last change in a long line of changes can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. However, most of the time people resist change because they feel like have lost something of value. It’s up to us to help them move through their feelings, which may or may not follow Kübler-Ross’ model.

Our personal needs are to be listened to, understood, and respected. We can help people move through grief by filling those needs by asking curious questions and showing some compassion.


For a little bit of fun leadership development, join 53 Leadership Challenges at KathyStoddardTorrey.com.

Want to go further with your professional development? Check out the courses offered at PositiveEffectLeadership.com.

If you are interested in taking your career to the next level quickly, contact me for a sample coaching session at KSTorrey@tapferconsulting.com.

 

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