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Kathy Stoddard Torrey

~ Leadership Coach and Trainer

Kathy Stoddard Torrey

Tag Archives: #onestepatatime

Dealing with Overwhelm

04 Tuesday Aug 2020

Posted by Kathy Stoddard Torrey in Leadership, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

#humor, #LeadershipRules #LeadYourselfFirst #KathySays, #onestepatatime, #overwhelm

overwhelmed 1.2K px

I will confess that I am a bit overwhelmed at the moment. I’m preparing welcome boxes for the 18 participants of my first-ever completely virtual leadership series, packing for a three-month stay in Austin, writing this blog, and getting my condo ready for guests to stay here while I am gone.

When I have a long way to go and a short time to get there, I begin by making a list of things that have to be done. The first step is a brain dump. Everything that is cluttering my mind goes down on paper.

Next, I put the tasks in priority order. Once I have a list of things to do, from most important and time-sensitive to least, I start moving. The trick is to only focus on one thing at a time. No emotional energy goes into hemming or hawing about what is the next best thing to do.

I also take a lot of deep breaths to stay calm. I want to move quickly, but not hurriedly. Wasting emotional pennies on feeling rushed isn’t helping the situation. I can do this by practicing some mindfulness. I focus on whatever I am doing right now. No thoughts of what still needs to be done or feelings of overwhelm are allowed. The only thing in my mind is what I am doing in this moment. And when I’m done with that task, I move on to the next thing on the list. Staying mindful turns a forced march into a brisk, intentional walk, which is much more sustainable.

For my current tasks, printing off the handouts for the welcome boxes and ordering items to include in it were first. Then I began to lay everything out across the living room floor and dining room table. Next, I began assembling the boxes. Currently, they are all filled and waiting for bubble wrap, sealing, and labeling.

I am also facing the effects of Hurricane Isaias, which has led me to switch up my priorities. I paused on leadership welcome kits so I could pack and load the car before the deluge hits. At 6 pm, I will stop packing and loading and finish off the welcome boxes. They will go in the car tonight so I can go to the post office first thing in the morning, when I will mail the welcome kits and ask them to forward my mail.

The great thing about prioritizing is that I do get the most important stuff done. There is only so much time between now and when I must be on the road. There is a chance that I will run out of time and not get everything on the list completed – and that’s okay! I’m a human who needs sleep before I can drive for hours on end. Not stressing or feeling overwhelmed also helps me stay fresh for the long drive.

Leaders often face time challenges. There are many responsibilities and tasks that pull on our attention. We can maintain a calm demeanor and manageable life by mastering the skill of prioritizing and then staying in the current moment by practicing mindfulness.


For a little bit of fun leadership development, join 53 Leadership Challenges at KathyStoddardTorrey.com.

Want to go further with your professional development? Check out the courses offered at PositiveEffectLeadership.com.

If you are interested in taking your career to the next level quickly, contact me for a sample coaching session at KSTorrey@tapferconsulting.com.

 

Words of Wisdom: Find More Facts and Listen to Your Heart

05 Tuesday Dec 2017

Posted by Kathy Stoddard Torrey in Leadership, Uncategorized, Words of Wisdom

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Tags

#findfacts, #listentoyourheart, #onestepatatime, #overwhelm, #wordsofwisdom

gma and gdaughter 550 px

When figuring out what to write for the final month of 2017, I asked myself what else I want my granddaughter to know. What hard-won wisdom could I share that would help her when she is facing a challenge? If I am not around to comfort her and offer support, what would help?

2017 has been a tough year for me. I have faced several life-altering challenges, and I’ve been stuck and felt hopeless. It felt like I was standing in one place with my shoes glued to the floor. I couldn’t move forward. Everything was confusing and overwhelming. I’ve had some practice this year in getting through a tough time or two.

When my head is swimming and there doesn’t seem to be a clear answer, there are a couple of things I do. First, I gather more facts. When we feel like we are guessing, we often are. For example, I was buying a new car a few years ago, and the entire process was intimidating to me. I’d driven a minivan for more than 20 years, and I loved all my minivans — I mean truly loved them.

However, since my children were grown and I was 50-something years old, I thought it might be time for an image upgrade. I looked at every car on the road and imagined myself driving it. I quickly eliminated all small cars. I’m about six feet tall, and small cars make me claustrophobic. Also, I drive with chart pads, books, and a host of other goodies when I travel to do leadership training.

“Not small” isn’t much to go on. Would I like a truck? Perhaps an SUV would work? I couldn’t make up my mind. It was time to gather some more facts.

I found an enormous pickup truck on sale and went to see it. I sat in it and drove it around. It made me feel tough and powerful. I liked it. However, my oldest son lived in the DC area at the time. It occurred to me that I was often driving down small streets and parking in small parking garages. The truck felt too big for that. Yay! A new criterion to add to my search. The vehicle must be easy to maneuver on small streets and in parking garages. I hadn’t thought of that until I drove the big truck.

Next, I drove an Acura MDX. Swanky SUV. Easy to drive, but a little too small to fit all my training paraphernalia and clothes. AND it didn’t feel right, which leads to my second test when facing a challenge: What does your heart say?

My heart let me know pretty quickly that I felt like a poser in that car. It felt sleek and rich. It was like putting a mink coat over sweats. It just didn’t feel right.

Now I was armed with a host of practical things that I wanted, like a bunch of cup holders, a heated seat, and an engine powerful enough to tow a small trailer. I also knew that it didn’t need to be elegant or swanky. Knowing all of that made it easy to choose Amber – the car that I now drive and adore. Amber is a Honda Pilot. She is small enough to fit in parking garages, big enough to hold my stuff, and she is beautiful but not ostentatious. I love her!

So if my granddaughter, who is now one year old, called me with a challenge in the future (when she is able to talk in complete sentences), I would first ask her, “What do you know for a fact?” Then I would ask her, “What assumptions are you making?” Finally I would ask, “What concrete information could you gather that would help you know what to do?”

Sometimes getting the information that you need can require one phone call. Sometimes it requires the experience of a year. It depends on the challenge and the decisions to be made. We can get stuck in analysis paralysis, but the bigger danger is staying stuck because we don’t feel we have enough information to make a good decision.

What’s important is to keep moving and researching. Maybe a job doesn’t seem perfect or you don’t really know what you want to do. Move forward! Take a job, and pay attention to what you like and don’t like. Next time, get more of what you like and less of what you don’t like. Getting useful information can be a part of finding your path and engaging in life’s journey.

 

Once my granddaughter had all the information that she needed to make a good decision, I would ask, “What is your heart telling you?”

I would ask you the same things.

For a little bit of fun leadership development, join 53 Leadership Challenges at KathyStoddardTorrey.com.

Want to go further with your professional development? Check out the courses offered at PositiveEffectLeadership.com.

If you are interested in taking your career to the next level quickly, contact me for a sample coaching session at KSTorrey@tapferconsulting.com.

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