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Kathy Stoddard Torrey

~ Leadership Coach and Trainer

Kathy Stoddard Torrey

Tag Archives: #threechoices

The Three Choices in Every Situation

30 Tuesday Jul 2019

Posted by Kathy Stoddard Torrey in #Communication, Leadership, Uncategorized

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#LeadershipRules #LeadYourselfFirst #KathySays, #threechoices

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When faced with a situation, we have three choices:

  1. Accept the situation as it is
  2. Try and change the situation
  3. Flee

The choice that we pick will depend on the circumstances. Let’s say that I have a tedious boss who drives me crazy. I could decide to accept the situation. I love what I do, and my co-workers rock. I can accept meddling now and then from a micromanaging boss. Or perhaps I really need this job for now, and I can use mindfulness and positivity to help me manage my emotions.

However, if my boss is overbearing and making my life miserable every day, it might be a challenge to my mental health. The second choice is to try and change the situation. Maybe I could ask for a one-on-one discussion with her. I could use some of my stellar communication skills to find the fact and feeling parts of what is going on. It is probably worth a shot. It is possible that I could go down in flames during the discussion and change nothing. Then, maybe a trip to HR would be in order. In the end, I might not affect any change, but I can try. However, I don’t have to try and change it; that’s just one option.

If I can’t change the situation, and I can’t accept it as it is, it’s time to make plans to move on. Perhaps it’s time to start my own business. Maybe I could take an early retirement. There are several options when fleeing a job that I can’t stand, and fleeing doesn’t have to be done rashly.

When facing a situation that you don’t like, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Can I truly accept the situation as it is without harming my physical or mental health?
  2. What can I do to change this situation? Do I want to try and change it?
  3. How can I get out of this situation if I can’t accept or change it?

Remember: your circumstances, goals, and values will help you to make the best decision for you.


For a little bit of fun leadership development, join 53 Leadership Challenges at KathyStoddardTorrey.com.

Want to go further with your professional development? Check out the courses offered at PositiveEffectLeadership.com.

If you are interested in taking your career to the next level quickly, contact me for a sample coaching session at KSTorrey@tapferconsulting.com.

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